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大学六级考试作文模板分析  

2009-04-22 19:15:42|  分类: 四六级考试 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Teachers should make their social or political views known to students?

  

It must be emphasized that teachers’ significant role in the cause of education can never be neglected, because teachers are not only instructing but also inspiring groups of students who attend their classes. Admittedly, teachers’ comments on political or social affairs can affect their students. As to the necessity of making students aware of teachers’ social or political views, people’s attitudes differ.(最后一句话要婉转)

  第一段先谈论现象,但是要注意到里面的用词,比如画线部分,这些都是文章当中的逻辑叙述中关键部分,而且在任何这样的题目中都要肯定题目的说法,绝对不能开场就否定。

  Those who deem that teachers should not convey their personal views on society and politics mainly reckon that it is a waste of time. First, from the perspective of academy, they argue that school is a place where students should primarily concentrate on learning. Therefore, what teachers actually need to do is to pay more attention to the foster of students’ academic capability. In addition, they claim teachers’ views on society or politics, sometimes, are nonsensical, which probably mislead a number of students. To conclude, they believe that these views disturb the normal academic study and work in school life.

  这一段可以将否定,但是否定是不能通过绝对词来表现地,注意这里的画线部分,这里没有用can not /do not /,而且整段连接部分用词都很精准,从句3个; reckon that it is a waste of time, 它没有用because; in addition来表示递进关系;to conclude 给了结论。

  Despite some negative attitudes towards this issue, there are others who are in favor of teachers’ expressing those views(与第二段的第一句完全一致句型). First of and foremost, what convinces them is that school is a mini-society, where students should develop their independent points of view on social and political issues. By referring to teachers' comments,(马上给结果) students can either accept or criticize those viewpoints. In this way, they can gradually construct independent thinking styles and their horizon is broadened to a large extent. More importantly, being aware of some social or political affairs can definitely assist students, graduates in particular, in preparation for future social life and work. After all, modern society is a highly competitive place, where opportunities always favor those who are prepared. To sum up, teachers’ social or political views, they believe, can be favorable for students’ range of knowledge and future social life.(这里是环环相扣,in preparation for future social life and work 后面跟上了where opportunities always favor those who are prepared.后面有跟了结论To sum up,你要特别注意句型的转换,特别是More importantly, being aware of some social or political affairs can definitely assist students, graduates in particular, in preparation for future social life and work.)

  what teachers actually need to do is to pay more attention to the foster of students’ academic capability.

  what convinces them is that school is a mini-society, where students should develop their independent points of view on social and political issues.

  两段中叙述同一个问题的时候句型一致,如果你看到下面的结论段落,句型都是一样的了What makes me convinced is that the ultimate goal of education is to foster talents who are not only excellent in academy, but also capable of completing practical social or political work successfully.

  Personally,(用它来替代i believe/ i think/ in my opinion) I can hardly agree with the first view. What makes me convinced is that the ultimate goal of education is to foster talents who are not only excellent in academy, but also capable of completing practical social or political work successfully. That is the key to the all-around development of students. In this sense, it is indispensible for teachers make their social or political views known to students.最后你可以来增加的效果,比

Choose one of the following careers and explain why it is important to society: actor, computer programmer, and tour guide.

Different people have different views on careers. Every career is indispensable to our society.(过门很重要,除此之外,还有里面的用词,上下的衔接,第一句话的结尾用了careers, 第二句话必须对careers 解释,特别是回应主题给我们的提示Choose one of the following careers and explain why it is important to society ,写作可以把actor,programmer 的性质解释一下,最后再衔接下面的稿子内容) For my part, I prefer to be a tour guide, a person who plays an irreplaceable role in tourism, which is becoming more and more important. (紧接着阐明自己的观点,而且它连接很紧密,a person who…..which 这个就是以后写作模板,这句话自己选择明确了,导游的性质说明了,作用也强调了)There are numerous reasons and I shall here explore only a few primary ones.(时间有限,你也不可能解释彻底,干脆就谦虚点)

The most obvious reason(这个连接词重要) is that tour guides make traveling easier and more informative. (下面必须对easier he more informative 解释)They help people make the most of their tour. From a tour guide, tourists can get to know more about the background and characters of other places while enjoying scenic beauty and breathing fresh air despite(让步词的使用能强调你的重要性) being complete strangers there. Another positive role(过度词的选择) of tour guides lies in the development of many other related industries. Tourism is now becoming a boom industry in many countries. It is obvious that(强调句使用) it brings flourishing business to hotels, transport and shopping facilities, etc, and thus creates jobs for local people which would not otherwise exist.(你也可以尝试用双重否定,without tourism, without……)(接下来还可以举例说明你所居住的城市的旅游带来了什么,你的写作更有说服力)

Moreover, ( 再次使用过度词和连接词,使回答层次感分明 )tour guides, to some extent, act as a bridge linking people from different places and different nations. Frequent and deeper contacts through traveling are bound to promote cultural exchanges and better understanding among peoples all over the world.(必须对每一个特点、作用进行解释,方能环环相扣)

All the above evidence(连接词用在总结段落里,层次更清晰) supports the undeniable importance of tour guides. I must admit that people can also travel without guides.(在强调自己的重要的同时,也不乏说明人家的理由,但最终结果还是转向自己的观点) But no one can ignore the added convenience and satisfaction afforded by tour guides.

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