Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Teachers should make their social or political views known to students?
It must be emphasized that teachers’ significant role in the cause of education can never be neglected, because teachers are not on
Those who deem that teachers should not convey their personal views on society and politics mainly reckon that it is a waste of time. First, from the perspective of academy, they argue that school is a place where students should primarily concentrate on learning. Therefore, what teachers actually need to do is to pay more attention to the foster of students’ academic capability. In addition, they claim teachers’ views on society or politics, sometimes, are nonsensical, which probably mislead a number of students. To conclude, they believe that these views disturb the normal academic study and work in school life.
这一段可以将否定，但是否定是不能通过绝对词来表现地，注意这里的画线部分，这里没有用can not /do not /,而且整段连接部分用词都很精准，从句3个; reckon that it is a waste of time， 它没有用because; in addition来表示递进关系；to conclude 给了结论。
Despite some negative attitudes towards this issue, there are others who are in favor of teachers’ expressing those views（与第二段的第一句完全一致句型）. First of and foremost, what convinces them is that school is a mini-society, where students should develop their independent points of view on social and political issues. By referring to teachers' comments,（马上给结果） students can either accept or criticize those viewpoints. In this way, they can gradually construct independent thinking styles and their horizon is broadened to a large extent. More imp
what teachers actually need to do is to pay more attention to the foster of students’ academic capability.
what convinces them is that school is a mini-society, where students should develop their independent points of view on social and political issues.
两段中叙述同一个问题的时候句型一致，如果你看到下面的结论段落，句型都是一样的了What makes me convinced is that the ultimate goal of education is to foster talents who are not on
Personally,（用它来替代i believe/ i think/ in my opinion） I can hardly agree with the first view. What makes me convinced is that the ultimate goal of education is to foster talents who are not on
Different people have different views on careers. Every career is indispensable to our society.（过门很重要，除此之外，还有里面的用词，上下的衔接，第一句话的结尾用了careers, 第二句话必须对careers 解释，特别是回应主题给我们的提示Choose on
The most obvious reason（这个连接词重要） is that tour guides make traveling easier and more informative. （下面必须对easier he more informative 解释）They help people make the most of their tour. From a tour guide, tourists can get to know more about the background and characters of other places while enjoying scenic beauty and breathing fresh air despite（让步词的使用能强调你的重要性） being complete strangers there. Another positive role（过度词的选择） of tour guides lies in the development of many other related industries. Tourism is now becoming a boom industry in many countries. It is obvious that（强调句使用） it brings flourishing business to hotels, transport and shopping facilities, etc, and thus creates jobs for local people which would not otherwise exist.（你也可以尝试用双重否定，without tourism, without……）（接下来还可以举例说明你所居住的城市的旅游带来了什么，你的写作更有说服力）
Moreover, ( 再次使用过度词和连接词，使回答层次感分明 )tour guides, to some extent, act as a bridge linking people from different places and different nations. Frequent and deeper contacts through traveling are bound to promote cultural exchanges and better understanding among peoples all over the world.（必须对每一个特点、作用进行解释，方能环环相扣）
All the above evidence（连接词用在总结段落里，层次更清晰） supports the undeniable imp